Author: tkwilliams22@hotmail.com

Since moving to China last month, one of the hardest things to get used to has been the shower situation. First, in Chinese bathrooms, the shower, toilet, and washing machine are all on one level surface with nothing dividing the spaces, but that’s not the real problem. The main issue is that the water heater in my apartment is solar powered (fairly common here), which presents a problem when there may only be a handful of sunny days  between October and March. My roommate has told me horror stories of going through weeks last winter without hot water. Already, I’ve had a stretch of eight days where the best our solar powered heater could muster was luke warm.

Enjoying the clout of being the “new guy in town” and having Chinese bosses that were to eager to help welcome me, I decided to play my card before my new guy shine had worn off. My apartment is being provided by my employer and I politely told my boss that not having hot water would be unacceptable and asked that they work quickly to amend this situation.

After a week or two of repeatedly pestering my Chinese bosses, they finally agreed to purchasing an electric hot water heater and having it installed in my bathroom. They arranged a meeting at my apartment between them and my landlord this past Tuesday and the results were too hilarious not to document. Enjoy:

Tuesday: The meeting is scheduled for 4pm. At 3pm, I hear someone pounding on my door. I open it to find Chris, who handles the day-to-day needs of the American employees, along with two other Chinese coworkers Tiffany and Cherry, who is also my neighbor. Chris tells me that the meeting still isn’t till 4pm, but they wanted to get here early. No reason, they just wanted to get here early. I invite them in and they end up sitting around in my living room for the next hour talking to each other in Chinese. After about 10 minutes, I retreat to read in my bedroom and just leave them be.

At 4pm sharp, my landlord shows up. He immediately lights up a cigarette –

And here’s where I give a brief aside about Chinese culture: In China, every man over 18 smokes. A good percentage of women do as well, even if it’s only when drinking. Most of the men, especially older ones, can’t even grasp that someone would chose not to smoke. The only reasonable excuse seems to be if you’re Muslim, which there are a few here and they seem to be given a pass. Also, it’s considered completely normal to light up a cigarette in someone else’s house without asking permission and would be rude for a host to ask them to extinguish their cigarette or abstain from smoking while in the house.

Okay, back to our story:

My landlord lights up a cigarette. Chris lights up a cigarette. They start arguing (I believe) in Chinese. After five minutes of this, in which time both men have finished that first cigarette and have lit up a second, I decide to retreat back to my bedroom and my Kindle.

I listen from my bedroom as they continue to argue (again, I’m guessing) for 45 minutes, both yelling over each other, only shutting up when they have to take another inhale. Finally, I hear my front door close and I get up to check back in on the action. I open my bedroom door to a plume of cigarette smoke. Carbon monoxide flooding into my lungs, I ask Chris about the result of the palaver. He tells me that after much debate, my landlord has agreed that if my boss buys an electric hot water heater, he will install it.

Chris offers me a cigarette to “celebrate.” I decline. He insists. I decline again, explaining yet again that I don’t smoke. I look across the room through the clouds of smoke and see my roommate, John, holding a lit cigarette that he’s quite obviously not smoking. I find out later that Chris stuck the cigarette in his mouth and lit it over his polite protestations that he didn’t want to smoke. Luckily, Chris never makes it that far with me as after my third hard no, he finally relents. He tells me that he will order the heater that night and we’ll get it installed in a few days. He, Tiffany, and Cherry leave. My apartment reeks of tobacco. We open all the windows despite the 40 degree weather.

Thursday: The hot water heater arrives. They actually paid for overnight shipping! It’s set to be installed on Sunday, while my roommate and I are working.

Sunday: I arrive home from work eager to test out my new hot water. I switch on my bathroom light to see pure absurdity. Because rather than replace the solar powered shower system, my landlord simply just installed the electric water heater (which comes with its own shower head) on the opposite wall of my narrow bathroom. The result is my already tiny shower space has grown even smaller, yet I now have two shower heads – one solar powered and one electric.

Monday: The absurdity continues. Today, I notice another issue when I go to do my laundry. As I said, the laundry machines in China are located in the bathroom. Apparently, when my landlord installed the water heater he also had to replace the electrical outlet, which of course means that our washing machine will no longer plug into the wall it’s nestled against. The solution: dragging the washing machine across the floor to where it can reach the next closest outlet while still being able to use a hose extension so that it can reach the drain, and then pushing it back when the laundry is finished.

But at least I’ll have hot water this winter.

As of this morning, I have now been a resident of Qingdao, China for exactly four weeks. What follows are just a few of my initial observations about my new home. It will be interesting to look back at this in another six months to see if I still think the same things are odd or if I’ve fully adapted into Chinese mode.

The flight over: I was a little apprehensive about a 16 hour flight from JFK to Taipei, but then again, who wouldn’t be? Who hasn’t been on a miserable flight with a baby that won’t stop crying, the ten year old that won’t stop kicking the back of your seat, or the 400 pound man that hasn’t showered in the past month in the middle seat, as well as half of yours?

Luckily, though, I didn’t have any of those problems. I had the window seat beside two elderly Chinese women that barely spoke any English. After being fed our first meal about an hour into the flight, I was able to dose off for a few hours. I was actually able to sleep roughly eight of the 16 hours in about two hour stints. Between multiple naps, a couple of movies, and the first 100 pages of a new book, the 16 hours surprisingly flew by.

Layover in Taipei: What to do after getting off a 16 hour flight only to have a four hour layover before heading to my final destination of Qingdao? After tracking down the first coffee kiosk I could find, I set about exploring the airport. It didn’t take long for me to find a duty-free shop that was hosting complimentary tastings of Japanese whiskeys, scotch, as well as Hennessy and Remy Martin cognacs. Oh, did I not mention it was 7:00am local time! Memo to self: return to Taiwan soon. Any place that breaks out the Remy before breakfast seems like a place for me.

Traffic: One of the first things Johnny, one of my American coworkers, tells me as we leave the airport is that the police don’t enforce traffic laws here. Instead they rely on cameras that hang at every intersection, which has the effect of curbing speeding and running red lights, but leaves everything else on the roads as chaotic as the Wild West. Cars rarely spend more than about 100 yards in any given lane before sliding into another one that looks like it could be moving slightly faster. Actually, the painted lanes are for the most part treated as suggestions, as most cars straddle multiple lanes of traffic at any given time. And the only thing possibly less used than turn signals here are seat belts – I had one cabbie laugh and shake his head in amusement at me as I buckled myself into the front seat of his cab.

Parking: It kind of goes without saying that in a country of 1.4 billion people, parking will be at a premium. While most locals don’t own a car or drive, enough do that make it nearly impossible to find a parking spot. The result is that often cars will just pull up and park on the sidewalk. Scooters, mopeds, and sometimes motorcycles will often use the sidewalks as an extra lane of traffic, as well, which means as a pedestrian you have to be hyperaware at all times. In Pittsburgh, I had Chinese neighbors that never used the sidewalk and always walked down the middle of the road. Now I realize its because in China, the sidewalk is often the hardest place to walk and most people keep their foot traffic on the side of the road instead.

Food: In short, the food here so far has been incredible. I’ve tried several different dishes both in the local Shandong cuisine, as well as Korean and Japanese restaurants, which due to geography and history have quite a bit of influence in the culture and cuisine in Qingdao. While none of this is really surprising – who knew there was great Chinese food in China, right? – the one big surprise has been how good the quality of food is at the 7-Eleven. Yes, you read that right. 7-Eleven, the king of convenience stores in the US, is also the reigning king of food on the go in China. Except where in the US, you might be lucky to find a corn dog that had been made sometime in the last month, here 7-Eleven cooks up fast, re-heatable meals daily and as for the quality, I’d put them on a par with your average Chinese takeout restaurant in the US. It’s not a stretch to say I eat about five meals a week at a 7-Eleven.

Drink: In China, I don’t think the concept of enjoying a beer or two exists. Instead, the common question asked by most Chinese is “How much can you drink?” The idea being that you don’t drink to relax or let off a little steam or even to get a nice buzz going; you drink to get stone cold shitfaced. The idea of how much can you drink definitely has a macho bent to it, too. It’s a common sight to see at bars and restaurants here to see a table full of Chinese men with 10-20 bottles of beer on table. They believe in ordering all the beer they think they’re going to drink that night at the beginning of the night and then just barreling their way through them. If they get warm, so be it; it’s more important to show off to everyone else in the bar that you’re a man that can drink 10 bottles of beer and plan on doing so tonight. And in between the beers, shots of baijiu, a 106 proof grain alcohol that tastes slightly worse than Everclear, are usually ordered up.

I’ve mostly stuck to the local brews here. Tsingtao makes several different varieties, and there’s Laoshan beer which is brewed in the city, as well. If you’re looking for imports, though, there are plenty of German and Belgian beers available. As for American beer, most places carry Budweiser, and I even spotted pounders of PBR at the supermarket today for the equivalent of $0.75. As for American spirits, Jack Daniels is everywhere here; they even sell Jack and Coke bottles at just about every corner store. Not much in the way of bourbon, although I did find one expat bar that carries Jim Beam, or “Jin Beam” as its called here.

Sanitation: This was one of my biggest concerns about moving to China. How would I deal with the pollution, the refuse generated by ridiculously crowded cities, and those God-awful bathrooms. Yes, the bathrooms are pretty horrible. Some are literally just a hole in the floor and virtually none will have toilet paper, which means you constantly have to carry a roll around with you. Even many of the western-style toilets don’t have the plumbing strength to carry wads of toilet paper, so you’re stuck having to throw used toilet paper in the trash instead, which makes the bathroom-going experience all the more an avoid-at-all-costs event. Luckily, I have a pretty good western commode in my apartment with strong plumbing. I wasn’t as lucky with my shower, though, as my water heater is solar powered, and since between October and March you can usually count the sunny days on your fingers, has meant that on most days a hot shower is out of the question. Luke warm water has been the norm, although my landlord was here yesterday and we are supposed to have an electric hot water heater installed in the next week.

I have yet to experience really bad air quality in the month I’ve been here, but I’ve heard that it usually starts around December and comes and goes through the end of February. The one positive thing I can say for the sanitation here is that the city is all about recycling. With recycling cans on every corner, they actually make it easier to recycle than most places I’ve seen in the States.

People: The people here have been great. Most are curious and friendly and if they can speak English, want to know about where I come from and why I’m in Qingdao. I’ve also met quite a few expats and have learned about much of the city through them. There seems to be a large contingent of Scots, New Zealanders and Italians that have settled here and I’m looking forward to trying one of the few great Italian restaurants I’ve been told about. I’ve also met a Chinese family that lived just two blocks from me in Pittsburgh when the husband worked as a researcher at Pitt – small world, indeed!

This past month I’ve been through plenty of ups and downs as I’ve settled in. Being in a new country where you don’t speak the language or know anyone can be overwhelming at times. It’s never been easy for me to admit I don’t know something or to ask for help and I’ve had to both constantly here. I feel like I’m learning more in each day than I have in years and am growing as a person as I continue to experience new things. I look forward to the continued adventure that China and my travels have to offer.